To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
Do’s and Don’ts in American English
When Speaking Politely, one is advised to listen well and be understanding to the other person. It is also encouraged to avoid negative words, use the magic words Please and Thank you and avoid ‘finger pointing.’
Phrases
| DO SAY | DON’T SAY |
| “Sorry, but I don’t really agree.” | “I don’t agree” |
| “I don’t think that’s such a great idea.” | “That’s not a good idea” |
| “I agree up to a point, but…” | “I really don’t agree” |
| “I’m sorry, but I’ve forgotten my mobile phone. Please, could I use yours to make a quick call?” | “Can I use your phone” |
| “Would you mind opening the window, please? It’s quite hot in here.” | “Open the window it’s hot” |
| “Perhaps I’m not making myself clear.” | “You don’t understand me” |
| “Would you mind telling me the time, please?” | ‘What time is it?” |
| “I would love to, but..” | “Not interested” |
| “It was agreed that you’d complete the task today.” | “You were supposed to be done with the task” |
| “I think you might be mistaken.” | “You’re Wrong” |
Questions/ Hypothetical Situations
How would you respond in each of the following situations? You may also describe recent experiences in which similar circumstances occurred.
- Would you mind working late this Friday? I know you have plans to go out of town this weekend, but it will only be for a couple of hours.”
- So we should completely change the concept you put together. It’s dated and doesn’t show the company’s path to evolution.
- I don’t understand the proposal at all, how are we supposed to accomplish this with the products we have now?
- I will need an extension on the deadline to finish this project.
- I was told that you would be taking over the project this quarter. What have you come up with?
Describe a time when you experienced each situation.
- You had to work with a colleague who did not speak politely. What did you do?
- You were in a situation when you were not sure how polite to be. For example, you may have wanted to sound assertive. How did you handle that?
- You noticed a colleague or manager who spoke very politely and assertively. What did you notice about this person’s manner and speech?
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